Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it because I queefed?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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