Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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