Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
