ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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