It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
