i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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