I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
