Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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