is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
