do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
