I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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