...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
