He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
