You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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