Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
