alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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