She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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