White coat. Heels.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
