why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
