i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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