Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
