Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you will always have a special place in my vag
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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