Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
