oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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