I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
