please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
