So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The power of my boobs compel you
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
