forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
