You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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