the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
