Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
