the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
