I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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