This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and she was petting her beer can
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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