margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
