So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize