i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
