Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
