wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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