Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
