you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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