i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
