my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
