god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
