Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
