i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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