you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
