so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
