i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
