That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
