Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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