i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
