You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Randomize