Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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