I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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