I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
