I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I fill condoms, not promises.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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