Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
