You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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