I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
